My day so far..

My eyes adjusted to the morning sun at what i think was about 9am, not entirely sure why.
Not sure why i even woke up, my thoughts still numb from the night before, seeing a friend killing off braincells in a pub while comprehending the idea that there really is'nt that much point in spinning round the sun for another 70 years. You could find out whats next in a matter of moments, just take the courage to truly believe that there could be something more. My friend believes there is something more, which must be a fantastic boost to his life? why live thinking its all going to be ok when you die when truly nobody has a clue? for all i know when i die my brain will shut down and essentially it will be a sleep i won't wake from. i suppose it doesn't worry me, just gives me more of a reason to live my own life as free as i can in england... free... yeah right. Stuck to an ever-growing buisness which is essentially giving me the right to eat. I hate work, i just like the people. My friend left where i work, he says he's happier where he is so i may join him.. it doesn't really make a difference to me.

after lying in bed for about an hour, trying to estimate just how much my head would hurt if i got up to get a drink (trying to accuratly guess if kicking a hangover with water is worth the effort of leaving bed with a mild headache and a foot that clicks on a morning). Eventually i decided it best, i had to go to my grandmothers house to sort her curtains out (shes in hospital so i open n close her curtains so people think shes still in... some people are sick enough to rob the elderly).
Stepping into the shower for a few moments to feel last nights cold sweat roll off me, after having a nightmare about some crazy spider robot man... thing i can;t understand, i don;t even know why it scared me so much. I stuck some clothes on, put some hair stuff on my head and mashed my hands about a bit so it looked messy.. which is a complete lie cos it was exactly how i wanted it to be.
decided not to fill my stomach this morning, didnt really see the point in it.
Put on my headphones to drown out the silence of walking alone down an empty street, listening to songs and mentally creating video's for it, i don;t know why i do that but i always have. got to my gran's after about 2 and a half songs and opened her door.. strange feeling. It was so lifeless inside, i saw pictures of my late grandfather in his navy uniform and it took me back for a moment.. he died when i was young and for some reason i had almost forgot this amazing man. i opened what i needed to open and left, walked back to my own house contemplating never EVER living alone when im old like that i just dunno what i'd do.
i got home to a text from my amazing girlfriend, we argue a lot.. over reasonably pointless things but i can't see myself not loving her, she's great. amazingly talented at anything she tries her hand and she keeps me well in check, not in a bad way. she stops me doing stupid things.. not even that really, she stops me doing things where i'll more likely than not be hurt. i hope i'm as good to her as she is to me. She's ill at the moment, and i wish there was something i could do. in the end i seem to end up calling her and texting her too much n she ultimately gets annoyed which i can understand, she knows its cos i care though.

then i came and sat on my computer, played a couple of games about shooting people which when you really think about it is absolutly sick and wrong to get amusment from. i won't deny i don't like playing though, its fantastic.
Brings me round to now really, at the idea of a friend i made this account and i'm going to fill it with my mindless rambles of unintelligent crap about a meaningless life i seem to lead. i'll probably update this again by tomorrow. or write a song, or submit a picture i don't know yet.